Half A Heart
by wanderlust5ever
Summary: Post-S7: She should have known this would be the verdict, all the signs were there. Her mom had told her about it when she was younger but it never occurred to Rory that this would happen to her. It was just supposed to be a precautious warning. She can see the doctor's mouth moving but she can hear no sound coming out. Will Rory tell Logan or will stubbornness keep them apart?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or anything related to** _ **Gilmore Girls**_ **!**

 ** _There will be parts of this story that are slightly AU, but they are very minuscule changes. The story mostly follows the post-S7 finale with Rory going on the campaign trail and Logan heading to Palo Alto. This chapter is primarily a set-up to the main plot, which will be revealed in the next chapter. This is my first attempt at writing so please provide feedback on the writing style, any grammatical errors and if you'd like, where you think the story is going. Hopefully if enough people read this (honestly, I'd be stocked if at least one person read it!) I can help contribute to the ever so low number of Rogan fanfics! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the prologue!_**

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It was supposed to be one of the greatest moments of her life; Rory had graduated from Yale, Magna Cum Laude of course. She had worked so hard to get here, combating the stressful and sleepless nights for the last four years, and now she finally was given that big old pat on the back for making it. Rory was extremely proud of herself and it was supposed to be the day where she smiled from ear to ear to the point where she needed to unscrew her face off because it hurt so much. But she didn't. Instead, it was replaced with fake polite smiles and half-assed responses of thanks. Rory couldn't find the will to truly be happy on her graduation because she knew that after all the hugs and photographs she had to walk over to Logan and give him the answer he wasn't looking for. She will never forget that look on Logan's face as he said goodbye to her forever.

Rory had spent the night in the apartment packing up all her remaining things and thinking over every second of that afternoon. Who was she kidding leading with saying no? Of course Logan wasn't going to react well; of course he wouldn't listen to anything else she had to say after that, even if it was to explain that she wasn't saying no. She was just saying not right now. But their relationship was over the instant she uttered the taboo N-O. She was angry at him for being so stubborn and irrational. Who throws away a three year relationship without talking it through? Who proposes without even ever once mentioning the idea of marriage or long-term plans with their partner!? Sure, she thought about marrying Logan, having his kids and maybe a dog or two in the future but they were all hypothetical scenarios that Rory imagined in her head. At what point did he suddenly become ready to settle down when last she remembered, he was gallivanting off to Vegas "blowing off steam" with Colin and Finn. Not once did she and Logan ever discuss their future, apart from the Hay Bale Maze when he told her that he would factor her in. Thinking back to that day made Rory even more irate – she started to throw things into boxes haphazardly and let out appropriately timed scoffs and profane mumbling along to her inner monologue. Logan told her that he would make arrangements revolving around wherever her path took her, whatever she decided to do next. And yet Logan had put himself first as usual and expected her to follow him like a lap dog, tongue out and tail wagging, like she was supposed to be content about it. It's not that she wasn't happy that he was finally finding his way, she was, but how could he not understand that she wanted the reciprocal opportunity and support to do the same? She stood by his side for the past three years as he struggled to come into his own, away from Mitchum and HPG, but when it was her turn, he served her with a big fat NOPE. God he was so infuriating!

Rory couldn't care less about her packing system at this point, she was just angrily shoving things on top of each other as if her own punching bag. Then she noticed it, the stupid love metaphor, the _Twilight Zone_ rocket just poking out of one of her boxes. Logan had given it to her to as a symbol of his everlasting love for her, it meant that he would always wait for her. Rory started to feel the lump in her throat forming that warned waterworks were soon to come. She began thinking back to some of the best memories of their relationship, both small and significant, to the day of the LDB jump when she felt completely safe despite leaping to her possible death, to the times they did nothing but spend entire days in their apartment eating food and chatting, and to all the times Rory felt complete serenity whenever she was with Logan. Rory suppressed a heaving sob and simply let the tears silently fall as she sniffled with rapid breath. He was her home, her forever. She began to cry even harder, one hand clutching at her knees and the other holding her heart for dear life, as if trying to keep it from shattering into a million pieces.

After what seemed like eons, Rory wiped her salt-stained face with the back of her hand and reached for the rocket. She looked at it through cloudy eyes and with determination got up, Rory grabbed her keys and rushed out the door to head to the apartment she and Logan used to share. Logan was it for her, and she was not going to let stubbornness and poor communication end them. She was going to sit him down and make sure he knew how much she loved him, that she did want to get married to him, just later down the road. She wanted to be his fiancee. She needed to set the record straight.

"Logan! Logan!? Are you there?" Rory banged her fists on the door loudly making sure he would hear it, in case he was half way into drinking himself into a stupor.

"Please Logan, I need to talk to you. I need to explain everything! Hello!?" She pounded on the door several more times until she gave up and called his phone instead.

" _You've reached Logan, hope you know what to do."_

"Logan, please call me back, I love you. I know you do too and this just…it's not our ending." She hung up the phone as she let herself slide against the door down to the ground. Rory laid her head back letting her eyes drift closed. What was she going to do now?

" _This is Colin McCrae, leave a message after the beep."_ Ugh, seriously. Were they banding against her already? On to the next option...

" _Hey this is Steph! Don't even bother leaving a message because this is the twenty first century, text me already."_ And then there was one…

" _Logan! Buddy! Where the bloody hell are you? Colin and I are down at Rich Man's Shoe waiting for our third musketeer! Come on mate, we're dying to see Reporter Girl and Steph's itching to share the news with her. Call me back arite?"_ Rory remembered that day, it was just last week when the gang was here to visit and toast her upcoming graduation. Just a mere seven days ago they were all sitting together overcome with joy from catching up and reminiscing, but also because they were there to celebrate the Colin and Steph's newly announced engagement. Now none of them were talking to her. How can so much have changed in just a week?

Fine, if Logan needed tonight to hate her then so be it. She would wait here until they got back.

He never returned that night or the next morning. Neither Logan nor their... _his_ friends returned her calls. Steph sent her a text saying, "Not right now okay? I'm really sorry…" when Rory was leaving the apartment. What was that even supposed to mean? Steph made it sound like she wasn't hurting, when in fact she was! Her heart was barely holding it together, limply hanging by the piece of tape threatening to fall off. Rory couldn't believe it, well she could because they were his friends first, but still, she didn't think they would actually choose sides. She thought that Finn, at least, would remain neutral because the two of them had grown to become really close over the years. Rory tried calling them again over the next few days before giving up. Rory refused to be the girl that waited by the phone crying for her boyfriend, she needed to pick herself up and get back to being the biting, brilliant, independent woman she was. Yes, she still wanted to sort things out with Logan but life was still moving around her and she needed to move with it. She was going to look for jobs in the Palo Alto area and then confront Logan with her resolute plan to prove how much she wanted to be with him, despite his beliefs.

However, opportunities on the West Coast were slim pickings and Rory had been getting nowhere. Until, she received an unexpected call from Hugo recruiting her for Obama's campaign trail. This job would take her all across the country, never living in one place - definitely not in that avocado tree house with Logan. But she couldn't find jobs anywhere near him and she had rejected the one fellowship that would at least be in the same time zone. Rory knew this opportunity Hugo was presenting her would be a great chance for her to get her work out, to experience the real reporter life, to taste the ink in action. She could make some valuable contacts and mingle with all sorts of important people. Rory decided to make her round of calls one more time. If there was no remote sign of acknowledging her existence then she was going to power ahead and take the job. She wouldn't be able to stay sane if she remained in Stars Hollow without a job, constantly thinking about Logan.

" _You've reached Logan, hope you know what to do."_

Rory wanted to throw her phone against the wall; they were all still ignoring her calls. It was time she tried her last resort.

"Hello?"

"Hey Honour…" Rory tried lightly, her voice barely making it out.

Honour breathed a heavy sigh into the phone, "Rory."

"I know you must hate me right now but you have to know that I love him. There was so much left unsaid and unclear. I never wanted it to end like this. I didn't even want it to end!"

"Rory...it doesn't matter anymore."

"Honour please, l just need to see him and explain."

"He won't even talk to you via satellite signals Rory, I don't think he'll agree to meet in person. He's hurting too much right now."

"I know, I am too but I'm trying to fix that now."

"Listen, I want the two of you to work out, I truly and honestly do but the aftermath of this event is still so raw. The both of you need some time apart to breathe and calm down before even attempting to have a conversation."

"Honour, you don't get it, if I let him continue thinking that I don't think he's important to me, that he's not the ending to my story then…we're done. He'll never forgive me."

"But isn't that what you did? You chose your career over my brother."

"I…no…Honour…things were misunderstood."

Honour let out another tiresome sigh, "Sorry, I know it's not my place. I can tell that you guys have a lot of talking to do but he's already gone Rory. He won't even answer my calls now so I really can't help you."

"What" Rory almost dropped her phone after losing momentary feeling in her entire body, "When did he leave?"

"He left right after your graduation, Colin and Finn called telling me what happened and that they were leaving for California that night. I like you Rory, you're probably the best thing that's happened to my brother but maybe this just wasn't the right time."

"Honour…" Rory emptily pleaded, for what she didn't know.

"I'm sorry Rory, I hope you and Logan make it back to each other one day. Take care."

And with that Rory never heard from anyone associated to Logan ever again. They chose their sides and cut the ties. She had never felt so abandoned and unwanted as melancholy engulfed her into her blanket of tears. She guessed she was taking the campaign trail job; and here yet another moment that was supposed to be joyous was ruined by the end of her already terminated relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** : _I sadly do not own any of the characters mentioned, they all belong to the brilliant mind that is Amy Sherman-Palladio._ **Hello, so for any followers of this story out there I just want to say a massive thank you for your interest! It is my first story and as I'm not that great of a story writer I wasn't sure anyone would even read this. However, I am glad that I could appease some Rogan fans. Fingers crossed that Amy finally reunites the two of them in the Netflix revival season! Anyway, I'm really sorry for taking such a long time to update. I've been really busy with school and to be honest, didn't have much motivation to write. I'm back though and hopefully will be able to release a new chapter every 2-3 weeks or so.**

 **Below is a flash-forward. I know I previously stated that this chapter would be Rogan-interaction or something along those lines...but I needed to get through some back story and details. The next few chapters probably won't see th** ** _e_** **two of them interacting yet which I understand is unbearable because I too, have read fanfics and was just eagerly awaiting for Rory and Logan to interact. Their chemisty is just that special. Sorry for the ramble, as I was saying...the following few (maybe 3?) chapters will be fleshing out the necessary details and info pertaining to the plot. Okay, now that that's out of the way, please continue on and enjoy the chapter! I don't have a beta and pretty much wrote this in a few hours. I would love for you to guys to comment, give me any feedback (critical advice is welcomed!), and share your Rogan hopes and thoughts re: the Netflix revival. Thanks!**

Washington, D.C., January 20, 2009

"Isn't my wife gorgeous?" Rory looked on with admiration at the new, freshly minted President Obama who was beaming at his wife. Rory couldn't believe the whirlwind of a tour she's had the past year and a half. Here they were, she and the Senator she'd been following since Day 1, after all the sleepless nights brainstorming innovative and fresh ways of reporting the same speeches over and over; the stale, lukewarm coffees at every goddamn motel, press conference and pit stop; the mountain of Ramen consumed; and the general non-stop cycle since the beginning...all of it had finally paid off. She and President Obama had finished victorious. And here Rory was at her final campaign assignment, watching the Obamas embody the meaning of happiness and love, dancing along to Queen B.

At last, my love has come along. My lonely days are over…

Rory let the warm feelings of this moment wash over her as she let her mind drift into memories never lost nor forgotten. Her eyes gently drooped closed as the corner of her lips curled up ever so slightly, swaying to Queen Bey's velvety voice. Rory was brought back to a time when she felt the same peace and happiness the Obamas were feeling. To blond hair, warm brown eyes, and an-all familiar grin of a man she loved whole-heartedly, embracing her in a tight hold as the two of them danced around in their pyjamas to Moon River, in the apartment they shared. It was a snapshot of home. The smile upon Rory's face slowly dropped as the memory continued in her mind. She sighed deeply and shook her head clear as she reluctantly opened her eyes.

As she once again looked upon the jubilous President and First Lady, she couldn't help herself from thinking about how much she missed Logan. She did continue to try and contact him after she left for the road, she pursued him for a month but all her connections to him just couldn't, or wouldn't gain her that access. Honour did her best to reach out to him but he was clearly having none of it. Colin, Finn, and Steph...well, let's just say that losing their friendship hurt more than she expected it to. She knew that if it came down to it, they would choose Logan over her since the four of them have been like family to one another since childhood. However, Rory didn't think they would completely shut her out and not offer a tiny olive branch of help after three years of friendship. They all grew to be very close. Thus the break-up left an even bigger hole in her heart than anticipated. She was suddenly left with no one and that sudden loneliness really messed her up in the aftermath. As the 6-month mark passed, Rory gave up. It's not that she wanted to but she really couldn't keep up with the emotional and physical exhaustion from this break-up turmoil, her job, and Lorelai and Luke's engagement. The latter of which meant helping her mother plan the long-awaited wedding. It was all too much for Rory so she had to let something go before she had a complete meltdown. Logan gave up on her. And she used that as motivation everyday to move on and live her life. Nonetheless, he was always at the back of her mind, lingering like a shadow, and emerging every so often to say hello. Slowly over time she let the pieces of her heart mend back together. It didn't quite fully heal but it was enough to function and resemble some semblance of a normal life again.

Rory was mid-way through a solemn sigh to retrieve her back to reality when someone slapping her ass did it for her.

"Oowwwww! Slllaayyyyyy schmeegs sslllaaayyyyy!" A rowdy voice whispered.

Rory heard the all-too-familiar voice and broke out into a smile, "Honestly Hana, we're at the Presidential Inaugural Ball for pete's sake, show some professionalism."

"Yaaaassss babee, you're killing it in that outfit tonight. I do have to say I have good taste and Dior never ceases to fail," Hana continued as if uninterrupted while Rory rolled her eyes at her, all the while failing to conceal her smile. "Oh don't you eye-roll me schmeegs, pretending as if you don't know that you are werkingggg ittt!" Hana slapped Rory's bum again and sent her a cheeky wink.

Rory couldn't contain her laugh as she admired her best friend's antics. Hana was an absolute enigma, and Rory didn't know where she would be without her. They became the chummiest of chums when the two of them were assigned to bunk together one fateful night. No female on the campaign bus wanted to room with Rory anymore, they passed her around like a hot potato because her late night crying fests were unbearable. That is until Hana came into the roommate rotation. At 7am on a Tuesday morning, the sun just peeking into the sky, Rory felt a heap of clothes hit her in the face. Her eyes puffy glued together with crusty eye-bogeys from yet another night of crying, opened a smidge of a crack to see Hana dressed, standing above her. She simply said, "Get dressed loser, we're going on a food run."

Next thing Rory knew, she and Hana were sitting on the steps of the MET eating rainbow bagels. "These are rainbow-swirled bagels!" Rory exclaimed with child-like excitement, mouth agape with disbelief.

"Yup." Hana answered as she took a big bite out of the bread.

"This is so cool! Rainbow freaking bagels, who woulda thunk?"

"And with rainbow cream cheese. New York baby, you gotta love it." Hana sent a smirk over at Rory and matched her stupid child-like grin. Rory smiled back and continued to eat in comfortable silence as they watched people mill about as they headed to work. Since that morning, the nights spent crying were less and less, and the two friends became inseparable. Hana was exactly what she needed. She was humble and kind, despite being filthy rich (both her parents were renowned hot-shot lawyers), she was laugh-cry hilarious, a ball of energy, intelligent, and extremely loyal. Rory felt incredibly lucky to have someone like her as a friend.

"...and then I shaved his butthole with that mini swiss-army knife you bought for me. I only left a tiny little scar from an itsy-bitsy error. It was insane!"

"Wait what!?" Rory stuttered as she snapped back to the conversation.

"Honestly schmeegs, at least pretend that I'm interesting. A nice absent-minded nod wouldn't hurt yea? I mean can you even imagine what Ev would do if I ever went near his butt? Clenches up like a clam. Ughh I'm already shuddering at the thought. It was a joke, moving on. But really, you've been out of it tonight. What's up?" Hana furrowed her brows slightly as if worried.

"Nothing, I'm fine. I am being honest, there's no need for that disbelieving look. I'm just feeling a little wistful about today. I mean, it's been one hell of a year and a half and now it's just over. And I don't know...it just...it feels like my college chapter is over. This job was sort of a part of my college career as it was the first opportunity I received. I was a fresh newbie coming in and now I feel...adult? And it feels like with the conclusion of this chapter of my life, that the Logan door is closing permanently as well and I'm kind of...unsure how I feel about that…" Rory rambled thoughtlessly.

"Oh schmeagle, it really has been a tremendous chapter and this? This moment, this event in history that we are here to experience and forever live to tell of the first Black US President in office? I think it's an absolute banger way to conclude it. Don't you think so? You, me, Ev (fellow reporter and Hana's sort-of boyfriend) moving to New York City, to our new exciting chapter! I mean, you've got features and your own column for crying out loud, that's amazing! (With Hugo's online magazine that has been picking up quite a lot of traffic in the past 6 months) And most importantly, to the rainbow mother-effin bagels!" Hana did a mini fist pump dance before continuing, "And so maybe your past with Logan seems to be fading but you have transcended into such a strong and confident woman. I believe that you will be okay. I've got your back." She bumped her hip into Rory's and gave her a comforting shoulder squeeze.

Rory smiled back and quipped, "Ugh, you're so like, obsessed with me, I don't need a cheerleader."

"Haha Courtney," Hana deadpanned. "On a serious note though, if you ever miss him, and I know you do, don't let it stump you. Use it in your writing. Your column readers love it whenever you toss them a bit of your personal life. They like the secrets, makes them feel connected to you and all. But who am I to offer this advice that you already know and utilize. You have a cult of followers - not forgetting that you have the New York Times editor's wife as a fan!"

"Yea I guess…"

"Rory, you guess!?"

"I'm sorry, I meant that I am happy. I'm elated for our move to New York. I know that we're going to have an incredible adventure. Really, I genuinely am. So that penthouse of yours better be as spectacular as you say!" Rory teased.

"Oh trust me, you will love it. Mostly because I will be initiating wine dance parties basically every other night, if not every."

"And the bagels, they're worth mentioning twice." Rory emphasized.

Hana clutched Rory's hand and whispered in a serious hush, "Oh hun, wait till you hear about the buttery, flaky, rainbow croissants."

Rory's eyes widened, "WHAT!? Get it in my stomach asap." She stuck her tongue out and panted like dog, wagging her behind.

Hana laughed trying to still her friend. "How about for now we just go celebrate the end of this momentous journey? Everyone's heading out for a drink, let's go!"

"Nah, I'm going to get some sleep. I've still got that flu kicking and the meds are starting to wear off. My body is really starting to feel knackered. Just go on without me."

"Oh gosh Rory, you're still sick? That fever has been hanging on for a week now. Ooo maybe alcohol will kick it out of your system?" Hana wagged her brows attempting to lure her best friend out.

"It's really okay Han, I want to call it an early night. The headache is starting to begin its thumping. I insist, go and celebrate with Evan and the gang. Just don't forget to take me to New York in the morning" Rory joked.

"Alright...but call me if you change your mind." She quickly hugged Rory, pecked her cheek, and flitted away.

Rory returned to the motel and faded into sleep, memories flooding into her slumber state. Memories of the last year of her life, of all that she has accomplished and experienced. She truly was proud with how things have progressed in her professional life, and yet she couldn't help but think how it would be better if a certain boy was there to share these moments. And with that, Rory succumbed to sleep, dreaming about that blissful night dancing to Henry Mancini.


End file.
